iMessage Cryptomoji are here to torment nocoiners

Drop your coins like they're hot.
Image: Cryptomoji

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Investing in bitcoin is complicated, and experts and amateurs alike agree it can be difficult to know when to buy and when to sell. 

But sometimes, once in a blue moon, the signs are so unambiguous that they are impossible to ignore. Cryptomoji Animated Stickers for iMessage are one of those signs — and it’s screaming “sell” pretty damn loudly. 

For those of you somehow blissfully unaware, iPhone users that want to spice up their iMessage game can download animated sticker packs and send what amounts to custom emoji to friends and family. GIPHY, for example, released a pack last year. And you knew the hodlers wouldn’t be far behind. 

As of March 14, all it takes to add a breakdancing bitcoin to an iMessage convo is a quick visit to the App Store. 

“Get ready to wow your friends with the ALL NEW Cryptomoji animated sticker pack,” reads the app description. “Make your crypto chat conversations even more intense with more than 30 custom animated stickers.”

That’s right, the next time you try to convince your grandparents to put their life savings into a Bitcoin IRA you’ll have the help of a breakdancing bitcoin person who appears to be wearing gold Ugg boots. To be fair, however, that actually might come across as a little more authoritative than the current unofficial cryptocurrency spokesperson

But don’t let this newfound animated spearhead into the cultural zeitgeist that is iMessage fool you, for not even Cryptomoji Animated Stickers appear to be able to counter the massive slide in the price of bitcoin over the month of March. Bitcoin is hovering just above $8,000 at the time of this writing, down from just under $20,000 in December 2017. 

These little dancing cryptodudes are just another signpost flashing by on the rollercoaster down. 

And don’t think your altcoins are safe, either. According to the developer Gumheads, “More Cryptocurrencies coming soon!” So all you etherheads out there better watch out. 

Or maybe bitcoin is going to the moon and you should just buy the dip?

It’s impossible to know, of course, although spending a few hours staring at Cryptomoji isn’t likely to bring any clarity to the situation — even if those Cryptomoji can dance. 

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